Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
