I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
