If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
