I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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