just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize