Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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