Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
