You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
