It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
