remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
