shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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