their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i came on her dog
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
