So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
