she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
