FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
