Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
