i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
