So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
