is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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