dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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