I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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