she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
