In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
