Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We have started to decorate penises.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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