I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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