dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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