I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
