trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I could fuck to npr.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
