the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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