never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
