can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
