My hand turned me down
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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