Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
