if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize
