think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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