Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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