just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
