you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
