He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
