So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm both gender and math confused
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
