i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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