Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
my poor anus
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
