Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
How naked do you want me to be?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
