do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
