So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
