I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
