idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
