Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
