i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
