Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize