one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Fuck appropriateness.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
