You can't motorboat a personality
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
