The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
