I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
