I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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