Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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