His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize