Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
