I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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