I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
