why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
