Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
